Abusive Relationship
Assessment
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Title
Read each question carefully and completely. Take as much time as you need to reflect on each question. This tool is of no help to you if you refuse to answer each question honestly. Answers are completely confidential. No personal information is requested and your answers are not saved. Remember, if you cheat, you're only cheating yourself.
1. Are you often fearful of your partner?
2. Do you avoid certain topics (or spend a lot of time figuring out how to talk about certain topics) so that you do not arouse your partner's criticism or anger?
3. Do you ever feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
4. Do you ever feel so badly about yourself that you think you deserve to be physically hurt?
5. Have you lost the love and respect that you once had for your partner?
6. Do you sometimes wonder if you are the one who is crazy, that maybe you are overreacting to your partner's behaviors?
7. Do you sometimes fantasize about ways to kill your partner to get them out of your life?
8. Are you afraid that your partner may try to kill you?
9. Are you afraid that your partner will try to take your children away from you?
10. Do you feel that there is nowhere to turn for help?
11. Are you feeling emotionally numb?
12. Were you abused as a child, or did you grow up with domestic violence in the household? Does domestic violence seem normal to you?
13. Does your partner have low self-esteem? Do they appear to feel powerless, ineffective, or inadequate in the world (even if they are outwardly successful)?
14. Does your partner find external excuses for their own behavior? Do they blame their violence on stress, alcohol, or a "bad day"?
15. Is your partner unpredictable?
16. Is your partner a pleasant person between the violent outbursts?
17. Does your partner have a bad temper?
18. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you or kill you?
19. Has your partner ever physically hurt you?
20. Has your partner threatened to take your children away from you, especially if you try to leave the relationship?
21. Has your partner ever threatened to commit suicide as a way of keeping you from leaving?
22. Has your partner ever forced you to have sex when you didn't want to?
23. Has your partner threatened you at work, either in person or on the phone?
24. Is your partner cruel to animals?
25. Does your partner destroy your belongings or household objects?
26. Does your partner try to keep you from seeing your friends or family?
27. Are you embarrassed to invite friends or family over to your house because of your partner's behavior?
28. Has your partner limited your access to money, the telephone, or the car?
29. Does your partner try to stop you from going where you want to go or from doing what you want to do?
30. Is your partner jealous and possessive, asking where you are going and where you have been, as if checking up on you? Do he or she accuse you of having an affair?
31. Does your partner verbally abuse you?
32. Does your partner humiliate or criticize you in front of others?
33. Does your partner often ignore you or dismiss and criticize your opinions or contributions?
34. Does your partner always insist that he or she is right, even when they are clearly wrong?
35. Does your partner blame you for their own violent behavior, saying that your behavior or attitudes cause them to be violent?
36. Is your partner often angry toward you?
37. Does your partner see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person? Does your partner show disrepect toward your gender as a whole?

Total 'Yes' (out of 37 possible)
Interpretation



All calculators are made available as self-help tools for your independent use with results based on information provided by the user. All examples are hypothetical and are for illustrative purposes only. Calculated results are believed to be accurate but results are not guaranteed. Health and Parenting Assessments address subjects that may be of interest to the general public. These assesments should be used for education about medical conditions only and are not for providing medical diagnosis. Only a health care professional can diagnose and recommend treatment. Users are advised to promptly check with a physician if a medical condition exists or is suspected.
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Updated 05 Jul 2007
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